im back i guess
hey
its me again
and its been a year since i last visited this
yikes thats scary
but anyways
i go to therapy now which is awesome and i love my psychologist shes amazing and lovely and so so great
and i saw her today and we got talking about my mother and how she's so controlling. for the sake of this, we're called my psychologist allie. so allie pretty much was like "look, i understand that shes controlling now and you might think that when you leave to go to uni that it will all get better, but you have to keep in mind the fact that she is still going to want to be very involved in your life. she's going to question you on why you date this person and why you want to marry them and if you end up coming out, then why you came out and then why you sent your kids to this school and why you're buying a house here and why you're going to work here. you have to be prepared for that to be a possibility"
and honestly i thought that that was really interesting
because i've just been doing some googling and everything online is like "a controlling parent shows these traits" and most of them are things like making you feel less than them or making you feel like you're never going to be anything. and its funny because thats not my mum
she doesnt do those typical things that all these articles mention and i think that it is the generation gap. like not her generation gap cos she is gen x but my generation. these articles are aimed at millenials, not gen zers. yes that might be how a typical gen y parent acts, but now, we have more and more pressure to perform well, get good grades and be something, that all this pressure results in you feeling shitty about yourself.
because i will be told that i need to focus on school before i think about uni because what if i dont get into the courses i want or that i MUST work harder because i apparently am slacking off in my school work or it will be that i dont do enough exercise (because going to running trainings 4 times a week with a chronic injury isnt enough exercise) or that im being pathetic about my injury or that im lying to her or this or that and god i really hate it
but i just found it interesting that her characteristics dont match those things
but anyways
i just found it interesting
oh well
dion x
its me again
and its been a year since i last visited this
yikes thats scary
but anyways
i go to therapy now which is awesome and i love my psychologist shes amazing and lovely and so so great
and i saw her today and we got talking about my mother and how she's so controlling. for the sake of this, we're called my psychologist allie. so allie pretty much was like "look, i understand that shes controlling now and you might think that when you leave to go to uni that it will all get better, but you have to keep in mind the fact that she is still going to want to be very involved in your life. she's going to question you on why you date this person and why you want to marry them and if you end up coming out, then why you came out and then why you sent your kids to this school and why you're buying a house here and why you're going to work here. you have to be prepared for that to be a possibility"
and honestly i thought that that was really interesting
because i've just been doing some googling and everything online is like "a controlling parent shows these traits" and most of them are things like making you feel less than them or making you feel like you're never going to be anything. and its funny because thats not my mum
she doesnt do those typical things that all these articles mention and i think that it is the generation gap. like not her generation gap cos she is gen x but my generation. these articles are aimed at millenials, not gen zers. yes that might be how a typical gen y parent acts, but now, we have more and more pressure to perform well, get good grades and be something, that all this pressure results in you feeling shitty about yourself.
because i will be told that i need to focus on school before i think about uni because what if i dont get into the courses i want or that i MUST work harder because i apparently am slacking off in my school work or it will be that i dont do enough exercise (because going to running trainings 4 times a week with a chronic injury isnt enough exercise) or that im being pathetic about my injury or that im lying to her or this or that and god i really hate it
but i just found it interesting that her characteristics dont match those things
but anyways
i just found it interesting
oh well
dion x
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