me and my anxiety

unless you don't already know, i suffer from anxiety. the only people that know about the anxiety are my best friend and my boyfriend. so yea thats great. anyway, my boyfriend didn't know that grand extent of what i do when my anxiety is unbearable and so i told him last night and he was pretty alarmed. i don't wanna be judged because of what i do, it helps and i don't want to commit suicide if you're wondering. my average anxiety attack usually lasts 10 to 15 minutes and i cry uncontrollably, i shake and shake (this is the scary part because my body convulses over and over again and i can't stop it) and if it's really bad then i scratch my chest and stomach and just underneath my boobs since i can hide that easily.

i wanted to talk about this because last night it was really really bad and i couldn't talk to anyone so i just wanted to raise awareness about it. people say that it's for attention but its really not. i don't want anyone to know, why would i do it for the attention. i do it because it helps release my pain and calms me down.

and yea, just thought that it needed to be out in the open.

dion xx

p.s. i just posted this and checked my page views and i had six. i'm amazed! feel free to leave a comment or email me if you go through this as well