the truth about my relationship
hi.
so my ex. we never broke up, it was a lie that we told everyone so that we could still date. he did ask someone else out last week and they don't go out because he came back to me. and because i'm a pushover, i took him back and we stayed together.
this morning marks the end of 4 months, 4 days of a relationship. he cheated. again. and his reasoning was that i didn't text him enough, i didn't reply enough (that is true - long story) and that he assumed we were over. we fixed it the first time and agreed to carry on like normal and spend more time together. then he cheated again.
i'm crying writing this. it feels like i'm missing this massive part of me. and shit i loved him. so so so much. he knew about my anxiety and depression and my insecurities and he still cheated. he could've broken up with me or asked me if we were still together.
and it's dawning on me that the last 4 months can't come back and what we had was so so amazing and incredible and i loved him so so much and i can't get my head around the idea that we will never be the same.
i found out last night and we broke up this morning. i shook for half and hour when i saw it. i have a bobby pin with a sharpened end. i grabbed it and i nearly cut. nearly. but i'm going on holiday in a week and i didn't want to risk my family seeing scar or marks on me that i couldn't explain. i wanted to die last night. my everything, my world cheated and i don't know what to do now...
any advice would be wonderful...
if you didn't understand much of this, email me at dionroseturner@gmail.com and i'll explain...
lots of love
dion xx
so my ex. we never broke up, it was a lie that we told everyone so that we could still date. he did ask someone else out last week and they don't go out because he came back to me. and because i'm a pushover, i took him back and we stayed together.
this morning marks the end of 4 months, 4 days of a relationship. he cheated. again. and his reasoning was that i didn't text him enough, i didn't reply enough (that is true - long story) and that he assumed we were over. we fixed it the first time and agreed to carry on like normal and spend more time together. then he cheated again.
i'm crying writing this. it feels like i'm missing this massive part of me. and shit i loved him. so so so much. he knew about my anxiety and depression and my insecurities and he still cheated. he could've broken up with me or asked me if we were still together.
and it's dawning on me that the last 4 months can't come back and what we had was so so amazing and incredible and i loved him so so much and i can't get my head around the idea that we will never be the same.
i found out last night and we broke up this morning. i shook for half and hour when i saw it. i have a bobby pin with a sharpened end. i grabbed it and i nearly cut. nearly. but i'm going on holiday in a week and i didn't want to risk my family seeing scar or marks on me that i couldn't explain. i wanted to die last night. my everything, my world cheated and i don't know what to do now...
any advice would be wonderful...
if you didn't understand much of this, email me at dionroseturner@gmail.com and i'll explain...
lots of love
dion xx
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